ok.. havent had the mood to write.. haha.. so tired...

newae.. ive discovered that i have always had that rebellious attitude.. gosh.. and now i tend to think and argue more.. hmm.. shud be good.. rite? and anyway ya.. i also realise that when i pick essays to write.. i choose those that i feel for.. and i wun choose essay topics that i dun believe in.. and cikgu said i shud choose base on whether or not i can have strong points or not and not whether i like it or not.. haha.. i am confused now.. hehe anyway im tired.. i wanna rest!! haha

heya!well... today is a bad day for me!!

here it goes..

came to sch.. i was standing at the staircase waiting for A'in to come up.. n den Ms Phua (DM) came to me and asked me why i was wearing sandals.. gosh she was dat dumb!..newae she asked me dat last yr.. so i replied [nicely] dat i had in-grown toe nail.. n she asked for MC.. i told her i had it with my civics tutor since last yr.. n she ask me to go get one..i told her i wud if she pay for it.. haha.. den.. she asked me where??? obviously u wud think she referred to the MC.. then i answer.. then she raised her voice n asked "where?" and i did too.. and ask "what?" but no.. she meant where does it hurt... well i did say i had an in-grown toe nail.. so fgns look at my toe lah... so i said "cant u see both my toes are swollen?" then she said it's better to where shoes so ppl wun step on it... erm ?????? precisely my reaction.. but i said i cant wear shoes.. den she just told me to go get MC i gave to my CT n show her.. gosh she's so dumb..
so i sms my tcher "mr wong..can u tell ms phua abt my toe? she's dumb enuff not to noe dat ppl with in-grown toe nail cant wear shoes".. hahaha.. cool rite? den i got the MC and i put it in her letter tray with a note...well too long to write wat it was abt.. but i criticised her haha..well i was rude i guess a lil.. but i dun care!! if u play with matches.. u'll get burnt.. muahaha... she has just ignited the rebellious me.. well .. guess more of that will come in the future.. but who cares.. haha.. i hate all this dumb stuff.. it just triggers anger in me.. im a rebel with a cause.. hahaha..

so ya.. im still pissed and unsatisfied and it affected my whole day in sch..

plus.. i was so sleepy the whole day.. i even pestered hirman a lil to keep me awake.. haha.. sorry.. n then first lesson was malay.. gosh i cudnt stop yawning.. i think my tcher was disturbed by dat too.. haha.. but well i think alot of political stuff happened today.. not with me.. but in school.. got police lah.. and yada-yada-yada.. not interested!! haha.. well stay updated.. hehe

life is abt...

okay today im gonna write something different from wat i have been writing..haha

eh-em.. well..i was having monday blues as usual (which happens to occur everyday)
then we just had to have the "interesting" dialogue during contact...

so we had Mr Lim Swee Say.. minister for the environment.. he's in NJ alumni n yada-yada..
then he went on talking abt Active Citizenry.. well.. somehow i think he didnt have much points.. n at times i dun see the link.. wat i thought he was doin was to promote politics [which he said is actually abt "mobilising the masses towards a common cause"].. hahaha mebbe it's bcos i turned off half way and switched on again later.. haha...

nevertheless i did capture some things he said... wat caught my attention was.. "Noone wants to be a rat"
well.. duh.. haha.. but he meant was dat we S'poreans are in a rat race.. but we do not have to be a rat.. meaning we shud be aware of wateva is happening ard us..and stuff..[i tink dats wat i heard]..but the thing is.. in this kinda environment .. it's hard not to be a rat.. every rat wanna win the race.. so since we r so busy with the race.. it's hard to find time to be aware of stuff.. [but i do ok!!]

then he said.."some of you should think about going into politics"...erm.... okay... no comments.. haha.. he was actually encouraging us to be involved in politics. he said we might not see it now.. but mebbe we wud later.. like he did... crap... haha..well.. newae.. he told us abt his history.. n yada-yada...

lalalala... so we ended the talk late and then had lecture.. lunch n gp.. during gp we discussed abt how Mr Lim was a good speaker and how he was different from most MPs.. He was politically incorrect, uses self-deprecating humor, has humility and shares personal anecdotes.. well..i thought his anecdotes doesnt really link to wat he was saying.. and i think he nags too much.. imagine one short simple question has a 15 min ans.. how to have more qns like dat?? and all that yaking for one conclusion.. [for ur info he's english is not wow bcos he was from the chinese stream] well..these are some of the things he said:

"I was damn good in Mathematics" [humility?]
"I conned everyone in Singapore" [encouraging but he was trying to be funny..u'll noe if u had listened to him haha]
"Believe in your own bullshit" [ i think he tries too hard to be engaging and to close the gen gap]

but other things are quite inspiring..

"if you treat life seriously, life will treat you seriously too" [it may not sound rite but i understand wat it means]
"external motivation can never last...you should find one source of internal motivation"


and i do agree when he said that:

you should "roll up your sleeves and get your hands dirty" if you wanna know wat life is..



and he asked this questions which made me ponder... "what is the meaning of life?"..



thinking....

hey again.. been very sick.. seeing things spin around..dats how bad it gets.. n i came across a site with all the love quotes.. it's meaningful to me.. shud read it sum time if u can...
it is at lovingyou.com sumtin like dat i'll add the links... watch out for it..
neway im just so confused n messed up with thoughts regrets n all.. after giving that speech to tanglin sec.. i became so confused.. actually i alredi was these days... aargghh.. wateva..

i wrote this song for my cip projek at tanglin since luqman says we shud.. so this is supposed to go with the song composed by this korean guy called ryu.. and its title is "un. wi" or sumtin.. im not sure.. haha.. but well.. this is done in 15 min coz of desperate situations.. well... tadaa... haha..

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Hasil karya: Elfareeza Ul Haq

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