nuttin much

i believe i have nuttin much to write.. coz.. im tired.. why? i noe i noe it's the hols.. but im still tired.. especially when i think of revisions and dance practices.

ok here's my schedule for 2 weeks

monday: dance pract (taiwan immersion) 9-12 (elect interview @ 8)
tuesday: dance pract (training for comp)9-12
wednesday: VESAK DAY (phew! but still need to study..doubt so :P)
thursday: Econs make-up tutorial 8-12!!!
Friday: dance pract (taiwan immersion) 2-6
Saturday: flag day 9-2; bahas competition for yr ones
Sunday: rest(luckily since Osman's in Indonesia) *breathe*

Monday: mendaki CIP 9-4
Tuesday-Fri: dance pract @ PA 4-6?
Saturday: Dance comp (wish us luck)

i feel damn tired just thinking of it.. man.. ive gotta study now!! ppl gimme some motivation pls.. ask me out to study or sumtin..haha.. pray for my health and well-being..hehe

and u call it a one month holiday.....hmm... it's ok less den 6 mths to go before i get freedom from this tyrannical education system. i shall start revision (hopefully...)

cinta tiga musim

tadi saya menonton vcd cinta tiga musim.. kerana terlalu bosan duduk di rumah.. saya dari awal tahun meminjam ketiga-tiga vcd tu.. tapi baru hari ini dapat tonton musim ketiga..

saya dapat mendalami criter tersebut kerana.. tanpa disedari.. diri saya ini macam ayuni juga.. atau macam teja.. walaupun telah cuba saya berlari.. menjauhkan diri.. jumpa teman baru.. tapi hati saya tetap pada seseorang.. mungkin ini adalah satu dugaan.. ataupun.. memang tiada jodoh antara kita... apakah nanti sisa kasih tandus jua akhirnya? ataupun api cinta akan membara semula? haiz..buat masa ini.. saya tidak percaya kan cinta sejati.. kerana belum diketemukan lagi.. ataupun lebih tepat lagi.. cinta sejati yang pernah saya alami..telah terlerai.. saya buntu.. mungkin dah tertulis.. saya akan keseorangan? apa jua yang terjadi.. saya harus pasrah dan menerima sahaja Qada' dan Qadar.. namun.. sebahagian dari diri ini masih menanti.. cinta suci... Insya'Allah..

a'ins bday

ok just came back from CIP at Assyakirin.. another interesting syarahan.. even though i think Cik Mansor Haji Sukaimi got a bit of pride.. but he's nice.. it was a tiring session (mentally) newae enuff abt me.. i'll dedicate today's entry to my dearest bestfriend...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO A'IN
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!!!!

WOOooooooHOOOOOOOOOOooo!!! YEAH!!!!! *CLAPS CLAPS* HEHEHE

Wishing ain all the best.. may her new life be more meaningful and fruitful (oops) haha.. get wat i mean..? hope u had fun today gurl.. ya ya.. i noe.. u can buy marlboro menthol light alredi.. ya ya.. and ABC.. hahaha.. newae gurl..u shud learn how to get ppl who r of no use in ur life or dun deserve to be.. out.. dun be affected by them ok dear... muacks muacks.. see u tmr morning... ;)be dere for u always...

happy

ok ok ppl.. i noe .. like maly said.. reading my blog is like "suicidal" hehe.. sorry dat things havent been okay.. therefore affecting the state of my blog.. ok.. hope i'll cheer up so u ppl can start praying for me.. hehe..

newae had ain and lu over to choreograph the dance.. so farnie.. hehehe.. especially lu.. we laughed at him so much.. sorry lu.. dun sad ok.. hehe.. pity our dear adik.. haha.. dun get contaminated.. newae just hope the dance turns out nice.. short of time.. and we practically have the "anything goes" attitude.. aiyah.. but those taiwanese will find it hard anyway.. so we shud lighten the burden of the year 1s too.. hehe..

lalalalala.. dunno wat to say.. im just tired.. got dance tomoro.. n i feel lonely.. i miss _______.. aiyah.. dun care lah.. freedom!!!!!

anyway i was reading this drama in my mly a text.. "adat usang pusaka zaman" and saw this quote.. i wanted to write in last night but my dad and sis were using the comp.. and today.. ain was attracted to the same lines... ok this things btw us is getting scarier.. haha.. telepathy.. so dun play play!! haha..

here it goes :

Entahlah.
Tiba-tiba dadaku sebak,
seperti penyair kehilangan ilham.

i wanted to write it in a very poetic way like as in the whole entry.. but lost my mood already.. hehe.. but i think the whole drama very deep.. and the language so beautiful.. only tiring to read when u r in my state.. hehe...u guys shud read..

lalalalallalalalalalalala... tired..
joke of the day
"i forgot the inang song"
"huh? inul song?"

demam malam sabtu....

tetap ku tunggu

kasih yang mendalam
hati yang meriang
aku masih menanti
ingin bersatu lagi
ruang kekosongan
usang cinta di hati
lalu pilu nan sepi
...akan tetap ku tunggu

came up with this in a minute..
tetiba ilham datang berlambak..

knight in shining armour

it hurts
when he says he's looking
for a gurl
"we cant be together"
i keep telling myself
but im lying

his words
always about her
always about them
when where how what
about others
never me..

he never see it
why? it's me
unpretty unclever unattractive
but him..
the knight in the shining armour
man of my dreams

please see it
and make it work
it can happen...

Ia

Ia

tika dahulukala
suci putih dibela
diwarnai dengan erti
hari demi hari
ia melebihi

masa memamah usia
jiwa bermata berkata
peralihan bawa musnah
hati memberi arah
ia memanah

usia kian meningkat
hidup makin menyingkat
hati belum terpikat
perhitungan kian dekat
ia tersekat

ketika sinar memancar
barulah ia tersedar
belum lagi terlewat
hati cuba memikat
ia gawat

kini ia gagal
kini ia tewas
kini ia alah
kini ia gelap..

hilang......


kalau sesiapa paham puisi ini.. bilanglah ok..
ada ilham nak tulis pasal terbaca puisi-puisi si hirman.. remembered the time i read his puisi at mac and i laughed non-stop - the one abt the mrt..haha ish ish ish

im such a failure

haiz.. all i can add.. is dat.. im such a failure.. failure to be a friend.. a daughter.. a student.. and myself.. aarghh.. and dun ask.. yes im goin thru some bad time.. haiz.. dunia dunia...

tabah teguh sabar.. patience control ... haiz..

bad bad bad

ok.. ive been having such a bad day again.. why isit my luck has been down the drain while everyone has been happy?? aarrghh.. pls pray that things will go right for me again.. haiz.. im trying to hang on.. i just got nuttin to say.. pray for me peepz.. need all the luck to turn all the negativity around.. PLS.....

ps: had an hour argument/talk with sharon phua!!

Young Girls dun cry

this can be sumtin to help me up i suppose....

Young girl, don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall
Young girl, it's all right
Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly
When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream
Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems
No one ever wants or bothers to explain
Of the heartache life can bring and what it means
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within
Young girl, don't hide
You'll never change if you just run away
Young girl, just hold tight
And soon you're gonna see your brighter day
Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed
It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid
No one reaches out a hand for you to hold
When you're lost outside look inside to your soul
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within
Yeah…
Life is a journey
It can take you anywhere you choose to go
As long as you're learning
You'll find all you'll ever need to know
You'll make it
You'll make it
Just don't go forsaking yourself
No one can stop you
You know that I'm talking to you
When there's no one else
Look inside yourself
Like your oldest friend
Just trust the voice within
Then you'll find the strength
That will guide your way
If you will learn to begin
To trust the voice within
Young girl don't cry
I'll be right here when your world starts to fall

freakin tired..

it's a freakin hot day.. and im freakin tired.. it's just freakin boring... and aarghh.. im jus freakin pissed... help!! one whole week of dance.. however.. i do enjoy my dance.. haha.. so cool...

jinx

luck hasnt been on my side.. fell again.. im sick.. no mood to talk abt anything.. so down n upset.. [speechless]

traumatised

hey there.. it's such a bad week i suppose..

just now i went home alone.. and.. there was this man who was either drunk or juz sick in the head..
initially i tot he was tokin on the phone or sumtin.. as if he was tokin to a gurl.. then i realise he was not using a phone.. he was listening to walkman.. den he started tokin to himself.. like horrible disgusting stuff.. then he started talking dirty.. gosh i was so scared.. i trembled but acted calm.. luckily there were two other men on the second floor of the bus.. but both were chinese and this darn guy was speaking malay.. n was sitting rite behind me.. i was so traumatised i almost cried when i was home.. he was definitely sexually deprived.. n worst.. i was so scared he wud follow me home or sumtin.. coz of some things he said like.. "i'll wait for u to get off the bus" in malay.. den i became worried as my stop was coming.. but luckily he went off earlier.. if not.. i wud have been alone in the bus with him coz the other two men left b4 my stop.. gosh.. im so traumatised!! eeeee.... so scary.. i still get the shivers n all.. gosh.. eeeee....

bad everything day...

okay.. i fell sick yesterday as i have said..n i had a horrible nite..some ppl who talked to me b4 i slept upset me... and well.. just so horrible..

then i woke up and had a bad start to my horrible day.. 154 took damn long to come.. and it was damn packed.. coz one of the earlier buses broke down.. luckily i wasnt late.. then i was so tired the whole day.. i dunno how i managed to stay awake in mly class.. i think cikgu realise i was yawning every other sec.. den some ppl just dun understand im in sch.. and call me n sms me again n again.. it just pissed me.. well it's bcos im alredi pissed at that person last nite.. so survived thru the day.. struggled.. n den had dance pract..

dance pract cheered me up but it wasnt dat productive coz we didnt do much.. but i feel so lethargic.. so i went home .. but b4 that i went to jp to top up my epass with ain.. in the bus.. we sat in front of this super mat idiot.. gosh.. i was so irritated.. i dun think ppl r deaf.. they commented on these two girls halfway across the bus like ppl are as ignorant to the surrounding as they are... then me and ain talked abt how we should embrace this group of ppl and try change them.. but we were irritated by them lah.. they were talking abt drinking.. clubbing.. well they r just so mat.. cant take it.. 3 things i cant accept in a life partner.. clubbing smoking and drinking.. BIG NO NO!! besides other criterias..i think thats very very reasonable.. haiz no wonder our society are declining.. n well im not putting us down.. but.. u cant escape the truth.. im so pissed and sometimes embarrassed.. haiz...

i really dunno y im so pissed n upset with ppl and many things.. sometimes i feel like im alone also.. maybe bcos i've not been getting the rite attention or the rite conversation.. or the rite ppl talking to me.. but i think im relatively quiet in sch.. coz im tired.. tired of making sense.. or not.. the only nice conversation i have had lately.. are with ain.. the dancers.. hirman.. n khai.. bcos it's intellectually simulating.. and even though we do crap.. it's only to relief stress.. i dunno.. no offense to the others.. ive just been thinking too much..

nevertheless i dun throw my temper around at other's who are not causes of this outburst.. !!!!! if u do so.. u'll just ruin everyone's mood too.. i dun believe in dat.. aiyah.. i dunno.. sometimes i think i shud stop thinking too much.. analytical minds are not always good.. i think.. anyway nuttin is all good.. arrrgghh.. so much to say.. but just so pissed to say it..

sorrie readers.. dun worrie be happi.. hehe =) erm.. shud i crack a joke to reflect the frown over the x-axis? hehe sorrie.. here it goes.. see how dumb some men can be.. haha

_________________________________________________________________________________

Two young men were out in the woods on a camping trip, when the came upon this great trout brook. They stayed there all day, enjoying the fishing, which was super.

At the end of the day, knowing that they would be graduating from college soon, they vowed that they would meet, in twenty years, at the same place and renew the experience.

Twenty years later, they met and traveled to a spot near where they had been years before. They walked into the woods and before long came upon a brook. One of the men said to the other, "This is the place!".

The other replied, "No, it's not!".

The first man said, "Yes, I do recognize the clover growing on the bank on the other side.

To which the other man replied, "Silly, you can't tell a brook by it's clover."
_______________________________________________________________________________
ps: one thing u shudnt say to ur gf..
"i used to come here alot with my ex"