10 weird things about me

ok even though maly hadnt tagged me but yes i frequent ur blog my dear. and im so touched im first on ur mind..grr.. i have actually done this before thanks to ain but it was 5 things (refer to my entry on 16 jan 06). and i think maly was listing safe weird stuff..but oh well here it goes... 10 other weird things about me. this is gonna be super tough coz im not weird..

The rules are: Once you have been tagged, you have to write a blog with 10 weird random things, facts, or habits about yourself. At the end, you choose 5 people to be tagged, list their names, and why you chose them. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says “you are tagged” on their profile and tell them to read your latest blog.

ok..

1. i like taking photos.. err.. funny photos that really distorts my face. but when i take normal photos where i look weird i will instantly delete them.

2. i still love cinderella like a little girl dreaming that she is a princess and prince charming will come sweep her off her feet. yes i still think i am cinderella. haha.. and my sisters are like snow white and sleeping beauty (not really now lah)

3. i like being childish to the point that it has become natural. (revelation occurred only recently) i think this is because i believe children are naturally (generally) happy. but it's not that i am never serious or i am immature lah.. i just prefer taking things lightly.

4. i get nervous easily in front of ppl although i appear to be friendly.

5. i am to a certain extent a perfectionist. (not that serious lah.. ive learned to let go)

6. i can only study in a "perfect" temperature. not too hot.. not too cold.. haha.. that's why we spend a long time looking for the perfect spot to study.. and i can just shift from place to place many times before i actually settle down.. sorry bulan..

7. i talk alot.. i mean A LOT!!! but it's only with ppl close to me. i think it's because i am surrounded by a lot of talkative ppl (like maly) and i think the more you talk the more you bond coz the more you understand and know about people.

8. i have tendencies of comprehending and explaining every single detail. haha.. (therefore i talk alot)

9. i dun like not wearing earrings because i am paranoid that i have to go pierce again. phobia!!!

10. i hate deafening silence. few reasons: 1. it's awkward. 2. it's deafening 3. i talk alot!!! no actually i talk alot because i dun like silence??

oh gosh.. this time i actually realise i can go on with 11.. 12... ergh ok nvm.. i think im getting more weird.. i think i spend too much time with weird people lah..oh here's a bonus.. i have a current fascination of bulan (the moon), bunga (flowers esp. daisies) dan rama-rama (butterflies).

ok here it goes ppl whom i want to know weird things about:
-hazWANY.. (coz she's too quiet haha)
-koony (coz i think he is a closet weirdo haha)
-ana (just because i think he has many unknown tendencies)
-yano (coz she didnt quite post the weird things i think)
- of course the ever weird guy who dun think he's weird..... faizal =P actually just coz i noe he reads my blog haha...

pasrah

selepas putus cinta memang sukar untuk menyerahkan hati sekali lagi.
mungkin masih boleh bercinta tapi lambat sedikit untuk menyerah.
diri menjadi sangsi terhadap orang yang baru.
kadangkala fikiran masih kembali pada orang yang lama.

tapi waktu akan memulih.
berilah peluang dan berilah kesabaran.
diri harus percaya. yakin.
bukalah pintu hati dan sambutlah.

takdir dan waktu akan menentu.
cinta bukan hanya sekali.
walaupun cinta pertama sentiasa di hati.
ikut kata hati dgn mata dan minda terbuka.

kuatkan diri.
cekalkan hati.
dinding masih berdiri.
runtuh jua ia nanti.

pic of maly for her sake

putting up a picture with maly in it just so she's pleased!!! but cannot put solo picture coz it will really scare my readers away... haha..

breaking up

ok i noe i shud be studying but i have to get this of my chest.

for goodness sake.. yes i broke up. i think ppl shud just ask me personally abt it and not go around speculating or askin others coz it's just not rite and u wun get the real story.
i think ppl need to stop judging and coming out with own theories that have no basis watsoever. i broke up with tomi not because of other reasons but just because we could not work anymore.why now? i dun have to tell everyone the full story.

just noe that tomi is a very nice person, who's sweet and pampers u whenever he can. he gives me almost everything i want. and i was comfortable with him. very. coz he was there for me when times were rough all these years. it's not that i hate him or i love someone else. i had to let him go for reasons that we both know. so i did. and he didnt stop me or ask me back. so actually i was like being the braver of the two to decide. after that i think both of us just had to get over the habits. coz we spent a whole lotta time together for 2 and a half years as a couple and 2 yrs before that as bestfriends. and there are just thinks that come to us as natural instinct. so that's wat we need to get thru. i dun hate tomi. i still care so much for him for all that he had done and for the person he is. so dun say that he was a bad bf. he was a good bf but maybe just not right for me.

i dun have to justify my actions but i dun want tomi to be judged and i dun want him to go thru this alone either although he is being the strong headed guy we agreed with the decision. so ya.. i didnt break up with my bf of 2 1/2 years because of another guy but because it wasnt working for us both. but i believe we are still friends. and once u decide on sumtin which u have thought of for a long time very thoroughly.. u shudnt look back to regret.

meanwhile... the other thing that was going around is the coincidence and the perfect timing. firstly, a perfect timing or coincidence would be that it happened at the same time. but it didnt. and i dun think me and him are that superficial. seriously u need to know the full story so really dun judge. although rite now we dun really care wat ppl are saying coz we are where we are now so we cant turn back time anyway .. and we are happy. we are still talking with our ex(s) somehow. but it's just frustrating that friends have to judge and pick alliances. coz i think when ppl break up it has nuttin to do with other ppl but just u and ur partner. and if it wasnt a clean break up.. it's still her story vs his story and frenz should just remain as frenz for both parties and if u dun .. then u r just not a worthy fren. im saying this generally. im just frustrated.

and yes i noe there will be backlash but i just dun really care anymore. after all ive been thru on my own.. ppl who were not willing to be there shud just shut up. i noe my frenz are supportive of me and are happy if im happy. they know me better.. so if u dun.. just dun bother speculating.. just ask us directly. it would work better for all parties.

rama-rama dah pun terbang sampai ke bulan membawa isi hati si bunga.

rindukan bahasa

ok tak sepatutnya kiter blog skarang ni pasal patutnyer kiter memberi tumpuan yang penuh pada pelajaran. maklumlah mulai esok hari-hari ada peperiksaan hingga hari khamis. dan kertas terakhir pula jatuh pada 4hb mei. tapi skarang ni tak leh tumpukan fokus lah. seperti biasa bila datang peperiksaan je mesti jatuh sakit. badan skarang ni rasa lemah... skali.. selsema, batuk dan sakit tekak. teruk lah gini. tak tahu macam mana. kepala pun rasa berat je. tapi takpe... hehe.. sekurang-kurangnya ada lah orang yang sudi menjaga dan mendorong. tapikan.. rasanyer macam tak sedia sangat untuk peperiksaan. tapi juga.. kiter rasa boleh lah kiter buat esok. cuma untuk hari selasa dan rabu jer yang seram. haiz.. tak sabar.. nanti kalau dah habis peperiksaan.... kan.. kan.. kan... hehe.. suspens..

oklah.. sampai di sini saja.. balik pada pelajaran.

(cant believe i blogged in malay aside from sajak..rindu pulak bertutur dalam bahasa melayu..tu lah. dunia dunia..)

yang dipetik

puisi untuk si dia ni.

yang dipetik bukan ros.
yang dipetik tidak merah.
yang dipetik belum kembang.
yang dipetik tiada harumnya.

yang kusimpan mentel bunganya.
yang kusimpan tak munasabah.
yang kusimpan senang merajuk.
yang kusimpan kuat jelesnya.

yang kupetik, kusimpan
yang kusimpan, ku petik-petik.
takkan kupeduli yang harum merah.
yang kupetik. kutanam di hati.

dun tire. dun give in. be irrational.
be yourself. because i love you.

soal hati

kadang.. soal hati sukar untuk difahami
kadang.. soal hati telah difahami tapi masih enggan menerima
kadang.. sudah menerima tapi enggan memahami
kadang.. sudah menerima sudah memahami tapi masih tak terjadi

mungkin.. sukar kerana belum ingin menerima
mungkin.. sukar kerana terlalu menerima
mungkin.. sukar kerana belum ingin dilepaskan
mungkin.. sukar kerana telahpun melepaskan
mungkin.. sukar kerana itulah soal hati

memang.. sukar untuk menerima dan sukar juga untuk melepaskan
memang.. ketabahan dan kecekalan penting
memang.. harus meneruskan
memang.. harus menanti
memang.. waktu dan takdir yang menentukan
memang.. cinta sejati tidak semestinya dimiliki.

tapi adakah ia cinta sejati?
apakah soal hati?
adakah ku menerima?
benarkah aku tersilap?

Bunga, Bulan & Rama2

Bunga menantikan bulan dengan harapan mentari terbenam pantas..Tapi enggan malam tiba jua.

Bulan menunggu mentari agar si rama-rama dapat terbang ke hati.

Rama-rama menanti hujan reda supaya bunga terus kembang dan bulan pun turut mengambang.

Biar basah badan. Biar sejuk menikam tubuh. Asalkan membara rindu di hati.

Biar kaku tubuh. Biar beku fikiran. Asalkan hati dan jiwa turut menyahut berkata ku cinta padamu.

alone.school.saturday.

Well just like the title says.. i am alone in school on a saturday. yes.. it's the first. Reeza-school-saturday-studying was never a good combination until lately. i think ive said this many times before.. school is my escapism.. rite now i have plenty on my mind.. and i have such a short time to figure everything out.. 2 essays and 1 project due on monday.. exams are like so near.. and im in a crisis.. i think that is bad.

anyway why am i not feeling... ok i feel too much that i just dunno (ka-ching!) wat i feel. time is running out. and it's disturbing. i dunno wat the outcome will be. i noe wat i want. but i just dunno wat i will decide. i dunno if i wanna be safe still.. or not.i fear so much.. i just need an answer badly.. and i am waiting for an answer. but so far it has been rather negative.

im afraid.
i dun wanna compromise anymore.
or maybe i still have that lil bit in me to push on? but why am i surviving now? but even this one week seems that im the only one in the game.. it seems like he has given up ...
or maybe he thinks i have..
or maybe it doesnt matter so much..
or maybe he assumes it will all be just a phase..
maybe it is just a phase..
or maybe... just maybe..
haiz..

true love .. is not to possess?
but i believe in fate and destiny.
i just need a clear sign.
if true love is not to possess then.. married people do not have true love?

give me strength.

If tomorrow never comes
Will she know how much I loved her
Did I try in every way to show her every day
That she's my only one
And if my time on earth were through
And she must face the world without me
Is the love I gave her in the past
Gonna be enough to last
If tomorrow never comes

So tell that someone that you love
Just what you're thinking of
If tomorrow never comes

Thus i think it is important to always say "i love you" to the person you love cos i think he/she will never get tired of listening to it if you say it and mean it. I noe i wont. It'll never hurt to noe that ppl love you. and "i love you"(s) should really mean something and not simply said to get a girl or to pls a person.

haiz..

give me strength.