takkan putiknya pisah

sebesar zarah cinta berputik
pandang-berpandangan
dag-dig-dub

taufan merenggut bunga
bumi berpecah terpisah
langit tetap di atas
bulan tetap mengambang
cahaya sabit masih sinar pada kelopak
rama-rama tetap terbang

seangkasa cinta berputik
dakapan mesra
dag-dig-dub

the (not The) big day

So we got engaged! Yes.. It is real although the feeling is surreal. It was a joyous occasion celebrated with family and closest friends (well most of them).

The parents, especially Mummy, who toiled for the event. My siblings too but they did not have the time to take pictures due to lack of human resources.



The In-laws who dote on me ALOT and have accepted me as a part of their family=)



The extended family and the kids who made the whole day (and many other times of my life) fun and exciting.



The greatest gal friends ever who keep me sane some times, while insane at others.



The dearest Ilsa Babes who are also the greatest and though we hardly see each other we know we have that bond. (Halija missing)



The craziest babes from MS whom I spent almost everyday of my last days in school with and has become great friends to me. (Irma is busy being domesticated in Indo)



The NUS lots who make me feel like I have friends along corridors of Arts and of course Dayah and Zah-zah who has been my friends for a decade.



The incomplete Bardot. Haha.. My bestfriends from BPGHS whom I was lucky enough to bump into to invite and explain my predicaments of invitation limits. (Shahidah missing)



And the lot who fill our (some) fridays/saturdays and some holidays with fun=)

I am blessed with the nicest friends and the most supportive family. I feel loved and happy.
To those who suddenly hear warning bells and feel a sense of panic to make that move... I'm glad we have given you that extra push=)

Newton's first law of love

i came up with this today... i dunno if anyone had ever said it.. but here it goes..

True love is like Newton's first law, for every action there's equal and opposite reaction. meaning, for every amount of love you have for your partner, there's equal amount of love back for you from your partner.

I think it is true.. hence, don't argue who loves who more if you believe u're in a true relationship...

i love you as much as you love me, bee..

in drought

well it has been 11 days. therefore it means i have 3 days plus a morning before baby comes back.
so freaking hard to keep focus and feel mediocre-ly okay. absence does make your heart grow fondue... hehe (inside joke) but ya.. i miss him sooo tremendously. meanwhile i've learned to treasure the times we will have together.. coz i've been pondering about our relationship and this song (Ne-yo - Mad) is quite apt at describing our quarrels and stuff. but THAT is not a topic to air online. bottomline: i've learned from this 2-weekss apart experience..

so anyway, since I was supposed to be reading my Buru Tetralogy and do many other assignments and readings (which i doubt i will complete in this period of "term break") i might as well discuss a the weakness and meluat-ness of Annelies coz I could use her as a comparison to my situation..

Basically, all of us (4 ppl in the class so a bit misleading haha) thought that the portrayal of Annelies as cengeng-nak-mampos (forgive the language) was so unreal. She was so weak as a person, especially as an image of a woman, that she had to be bused (given anaesthetic) just because she missed a boy (Minke) and had fallen sooo sick. She couldnt talk, couldnt eat, couldnt anything! SO practically zombie-fied until Minke came to meet her. Even then she was quite a zombie still. And Dr. Martinet had to advise that Minke had to be her doctor and love her and blah blah blah. I thought she should have been categorized as a mental patient instead! but anyway.. maybe the reason behind this unreal portrayal is to create a reverse psychology reaction thingy or as a striking opposite of the other woman character or to show gender stereotypes and yada yada yada...

That's not my point anyway.. So after this 2-week drought of attention, i get that she is longing for Minke and that could affect her health and how only his presence could cure your heart.. But not to that extent.. So i think that is really an exaggeration not an "unreal" realism - as in it really happens but it is soo unreal.

Okay i know my argument is not concrete.. but it's because i'm blogging for the sake of it. i've been doing things for the sake of things lately.. hmm... i really have to get my priority and focus and energy and all those stuff back to doing my assignments and PILES and PILES of readings.

ok. that was random.

i love you bee.

anticipating drought

OMG! i accidentally posted this entry onto the Ilsa Tari's blog.. hahahaha.. sorry guys...
Well here it is:

Revision and readings have been VERY slow this semester. Unlike last semester, the lecturers are new and has a very different expectation from us compared to the "Standard" MS dept. So ya 3 modules of very very dense lectures and readings that even Max Lane got brain dead.

But anyway, I think it's just mental inertia....

On a totally new note... i'm counting down 10 days and then 14 days after that... Why must you go???? haiz... Two ways this is gonna go down...1. i'm gonna focus all my energy on school (readings and assignments and presentations) to distract myself 2. i'm just gonna mourn till he comes back. As it is... when i don't see him enough i feel so rimas and unsettled. And not enough is really a pathetically short time. it's like drought. love drought. well till have love lah. mebbe.. attention and pampering drought.

Well baby, you better leave and come back with all the energy to layan me everyday you are free. I mean it. EVERY minute. hehe.. love you, love. it's gonna be hard. i saw you this morning and you're still in singapore but i miss you lots!

p/s: faizal away means Maly is packed with lunch dates and maybe dinners. haha... and A'in keep your days available also. Lagi2 in April. OMG! 3 weeks will be worse!

the PPM

So the PPM (Parents-Parents Meeting) went great.

Everything's on the go now.
I'm so happy.

I love you bee.

ps: Thanks Maly for the catch-up session. much overdued but it was fun.
And.. A'in.. still overdue!!! haha.. we're cursed.

I'm feeling....

I'm still floating.
I was on cloud 10 (according to Maly) but I think I've floated to several levels higher.Hee.
I'm smiling all the time.
Smile when I wake up. Smile when I'm watching TV. I was watching In Plain Sight. Mary, her mum and her sis were crying and shouting at each other. I was smiling.
Haha.. You know the saying... Crazy in Love? Trust me it's literally true.
I feel so light. I'm just soo... Happy.. but the degree of happiness is hard to explain.
It is so not overrated. This feeling is not overrated at all.

"Will you marry me?" That moment. Reliving it makes me grin so wide that it makes Elmo's mouth look so small. Haha..

Anyway.. Last night Baby suddenly called me and said... "It just set in."
And I laughed. Coz I'm sure he's smiling in the jungle now too. No mood to scold his men.
Haha...

And all the well wishes by our friends makes it all more significant and stuff..

I told my girl cousins. They were so excited for me...
Oh and I met my future in laws who were so excited also.
His kakak hugged me also.
This warm fuzzy feeling is really soo... ergh... Aaaargggh. I so need to get a butterfly-ticide to rid off the thousands of butterflies in my tummy.

I shall try talk bout something else to get my mind of it. Err...

So I've bid for the modules. I'll have a 3 day week. Well 2 and a 1/2 day week. Last paper 4th May.. Oh Gosh.. then preparation for the engagement ceremony.. haha.. I'm back at smiling and grinning...

OkOk..try again.. err...

Anyway my income next six months before NIE will be from Mendaki tuition.. I got the perfect class. Pri 6 Maths & Science at lakeside. I was offered Sec 3 Maths which is extra 40 bucks a month but it was for a school in B.B. so instead of going so far away and cab rides (since i usually wake up late) might as well forgo the 10 bucks altogether for a school 5 mins away from home. Then I am also teaching Baby's younger sister tuition. So I'll survive. Then I'll try get relief teaching jobs for both mendaki and MOE. And our engagement cost can be covered. Yeah..

haha.. see.. i told u I can't not think bout it. haha.

Ini lah penyakit angau....
Seems so surreal.....................

The Pictures.

Here are some pictures.


This is the ring many days before he proposed.


This is me with the ring and the SK Bear.


Anyway the pictures of us together macam byk tak dapat proper coz we were to tired. and had shaky hands from the excitement and nerves.

Oh well.. newae..

I Love You Baby.

PS: Thanks for all the wishes and congrats sms-es friends.

5..4..3..2..1..!

Happy New Year!!

and congratulation to me and my darling!!!

He proposed.

Happy. Very Happy. TOo Happy.