so i was just lazing around with nothing to do, especially since my love's out for family dinner. played stupid online games and suddenly.. fairus sent me a link.. a video..

gosh.. im not gonna publicise it here coz i think it's just wrong. the thing im most disturbed about are the comments posted by so many people about it.The image is simply of a girl screaming and swearing on the phone at a cheating boyfriend. However, just because she's Malay, it turned into a typical Malay problem? i could accept views like "malukan orang perempuan" but why is it turned to a Malay problem. and people who were commenting on how she was a "typical" minah sounded like one too. ergh.. i feel so rimas. i mean a girl screaming and swearing at a cheating boyfriend is a girl problem faced by girls from all races and ethnicity and religion and background. and screaming and swearing publicly is also a problem not related at all to any particular group identity, unless you categorise the groups by behaviour.

oh well.. not gonna rattle on and on about it. but people don't post such videos online. what happen to privacy and rights? why humiliate people?

to everyone out there, really watch wat you do in public. you might just be a star on youtube.

stooooooopid

stoooopid paper... NEVER NEVER NEVER spot topics. aargh.. of all the years, they have to change the pattern this year. it's an interesting topic which u need not go for lecture to understand but then... they have stoooopid tests and stoooopid exams....

freaking out!

i hate modules that requires u to memorise so much stuff instead of understanding and applying concepts. i hate it. i hate it. i hate it. it's giving me a headache. im so tired. never been so stressed for a simple/interesting module before. i am so screwed this semester. i need a miracle to pull through with good grades. oh man i just hate this. i am so tired all the time.. i cant focus well. why am i so worried??? i think this is the first sem where i put such high expectations for myself. yeah that's y.. oh well...

"why is russian revolution considered one of the biggest disasters?"

-aims not met: demands for social and economic justice end up with dictatorship of proletariat
-social upheaval
-economic losses
-high casualties from war, violence, starvation and diseases. (more than ww1)
-revolution disrupted industrial progress (war communism)
-revolutionary govt gave 1/4 of land away
-led to rise of Stalin- atrocities (reign of terror) but 5 yr plans improved economy

"british primacy in first half of 19th century"

-competitive advantage: capital and technology - colonial trade
-vast agricultural sector
-rich coal and iron deposits near waters (easy transportation of raw materials to factories)
-short distances
-skilled artisans, mobile labor, capitalist entrepreneurs
-stable govt which supports industrialization (easy to open up business, tariffs/protectionism, bill of rights 1689- no revolution, finance infrastructure)
-expanding population


"modernization"

-"concept that refers to a process in which society goes through industrialization, urbanization and other social changes that completely transforms lives of individuals" wikipedia

"urbanization"

-removal of the rural characteristics of towns/areas, process associated with development of civilization.


aarghh... so much more than this..

i love you baby.. thank you for being my inspiration and support..

donate free rice

"About 25,000 people die each day from hunger or hunger-related causes, most of them children. To a mother or father watching a loved child die in their arms from hunger, the rice you donate is more precious than anything in the world."

Do help and donate by playing at the link below.. i have also added a link in the side bar..
just take one minute and you could donate grains of rice. even better if you have wide-range of vocab, you might feed a few people in that one minute of your precious time. so do visit the site and contribute.

jog.jog.run!

less than 3 weeks.
work...work..
finish that last run.

Great News!

Amidst all the devastating and oh-so-everyday-what's-new political news:

Teenager's leg caught in fence at Lorong Liew Lian estate

By Chio Su-Mei, Channel NewsAsia | Posted: 25 October 2007 2207 hrs

SINGAPORE : A 16-year-old boy had his left leg wedged into a fence at the basketball court near Block 8 Lorong Liew Lian on Thursday.

The Civil Defence was alerted to the incident at 4.15pm.

The boy was freed by officers using a cutter and a spreader. He was not injured, and declined to be conveyed to a hospital for further checks. - CNA /ls

Amer

Dua tahun yang lalu, Kat telah melawat kau.
Menghancurkan sebahagian hidup kau.
Memusnahkan harta benda kau.
Memudaratkan kemajuan kau.
Mengambil nyawa-nyawa kau.

Tapi, sayangnya kau tak serik Amer.
Masih tidak berubah.
Tetap degil ingin melakukan perkara-perkara yang tidak disukai.
Selalu melakukan perbuatan yang dikhianati.

Hah! Sekarang ni Appy pula.
Appy juga menghisap nyawa-nyawa kau.
Menghembus kemusnahan pada kau.
Memberi malang dan kesulitan dalam jiwa kau.
Pisau cukur.

Fikirlah tentang diri kau dahulu.
Tenangkan api yang membakar dalam jiwa kau.
Bahagiakan hidup kau.
Sekurang-kurangnya kalau kau dah jaga tepi kain kau,
barulah orang terima kalau kau jaga tepi kain mereka.

Allah Masa Esa. Taubatlah.
Sekarang ni pikirkan jiwa kau dahulu.
Amer.. Amer..

that sick feeling

i feel bothered by something.
i don't know what.
i feel sick and uneasy in my heart.
it's affecting me.

what is it?
why can't i say it?

God, give me strength and patience. perseverance.
i wanna noe wat it is, that sick feeling..

the ReBoot

when your mac crashes..

and you know that is least likely to happen
don't panic.

although you know you have no backup
and all data lost
don't worry.

even if you're warranty is expired
and it'll cost thousands
while you don't have that money
don't fret about it.

there's always The Reboot.
just keep on praying everything is fine
have faith in the system
confide in people you love
and the friendly experts will come through..

hold your loved one's hands tight
it will take a long while
but your mac will come out of surgery safe.
and people you love will still be there
and you'll be back on track
and life would be easier and brighter.

i love you chocolate-coated marshmallow. =)

Penyakit apa?

Adakah penyakit itu?

Penyakit yang menyebabkan..
mereka hilang kekuatan
hilang daya
hilang kemahuan

Adakah penyakit itu?

Penyakit yang menyebabkan..
mereka enggan angkat tangan
enggan angkat kaki
hanya gerak mulut

Adakah penyakit itu?

Penyakit yang menyebabkan..
mereka dilanda balak
ditimpa suih
dijauhkan duit atau rezeki

Adakah penyakit itu?

Penyakit yang menyebabkan..
mereka pilih kaca dari permata
pilih besi karat dari emas
pilih pembantu dari bos?

Adakah penyakit M itu?

ish..tak ada lah..cuma diada-adakan kot?
bukan nak kata orang tapi dorang tu lah yang ada-adakan.
maklumlah....

From this side of the mirror

I'm sitting here on my bed, across the full-length mirror trying to mug for Monday. It has been there but I was just unaware of it until I decided to take a break. When I looked up I saw a different image..

Image of a girl who is so motivated. A girl who gets joy because she was the first one who could finish the assignment at the end of tutorial class. A girl who was excited because she can answer questions and understand concepts. A girl who is so interested in knowing why heaven is not hotter than hell or where Malays were from. A girl who has a stand on why NEP was reasonable while everyone else merely agree it is a discrimination. A girl who reads every word to complete the unnecessary reading for a test so early in the semester. A girl who has set to come to school everyday during the holidays to do research for the two Malay modules. A girl who has planned when to start on the southeast asian and physics assignments.

I saw a different reflection...

Reflection of a girl who is so elated. A girl who has soul and passion catalysed by THE love. A girl whose soul is of you. A girl whose passion is for you. A girl whose thoughts are about you. A girl whose heartbeats call your name. A girl who is her because of you. A girl who knows her life is best with you. A girl who doesn't want a million bucks to trade you. A girl who isn't afraid to face a firing squad because you are there. A girl who no longer fear playing catching. A girl who is a big girl but still a small girl.

I love you. Thank you, love. =.)

a distraction so good..a wonderful feeling

i'm 21

hey i'm 21. at last. although i feel 13 inside. :)

well, here's my thank you list.

thank you beloved. coz you made everything happen. the 3 days 3 nights of celebration as well as the post-celebration. you are the best thing that had ever happened to me. i love you so much. thank you for going through times of crankiness with me. thank you for knowing and understanding. well, you know the rest, baby.

thank you family. especially mum and dad who had to do so much to cook and clean for the party at home. thank you adik for at last being useful. thank you kakfi for helping out and getting azulyn and aishah to help out. thank you kakfa for the present and for coming home in time for the party. thank you cuzins and relatives for the presents and wak ishak for helping out too.

thank you friends. those who did as simple as smsed me but sorry if i didnt reply. those who actually came for the bash. thanks fairie, halija, nat, ruzaini, ana, wany, irda, fara, khalid and siti(ilsa) for making it fun and cozy for me especially with the blankie. thank you kamal and nurul for willingly saying yes to coming and for trying to make me fat with chocs. thank you haireez for eating so much.. haha and helping out with the bbq and actually stayed longer than you wanted while making the whole thing fun. thank you alman for rushing from batam and coming with all those heavy luggage and for the lovely top (which i had worn already). thank you AJ for putting so much effort in the present and for helping out, the dancers love you. thank you naim, yus and zuraimi for actually turning up when the others didnt and for the lovely cookies. thank you hidayat (and lin who couldnt make it) for actually buying something i eyed for haha..thank you so much ain and hazwan for coming and for the gift and for predicting the whether with AJ and for bbq-ing.. as usual you guys make our parties fun! yeah... hope you guys enjoyed it as much as i did.

thank you, love for everything... again.

yeah im 21!

Dance Reflections 2007

Come watch Ilsa Tari at Hybrid Moves on 15 & 16 Sept 2007, UCC Hall, 8pm.
Tickets selling at $20, $15 & $10 (excl. $1 sistic charge)
Early bird discount of 20% now till 25th August.
Student discount of 15%.
for ticket purchase you can either contact us at elfareezaulhaq@hotmail.com or CFA at jasminecheng@nus.edu.sg or call 65161223

at 10++pm today

at 10++pm today..

u'll be wiser..
u'll be more of a man..
u wud have taken more salt ...
u wud have been thru life longer...

at 10++pm today 24 years ago..

u were a few kg..
u had soft tender skin..
u were the closest to the person who gave birth to you..

at 10++pm today

u'll still be cute..

u'll still be my baby..

My boy..

My guy...

u r the closest to me..

at 10++pm today...

happy birthday faizal rawi.

WHAT??

so you left me here to wonder.

what was it that aint enough?
what was it that aint right?
what was it that i did?
what was it that i didnt do?

mebbe it's just me.
it was me that aint enough.
it was me that aint right.
it was just me not the things i did or didnt do.

it's really tough being on the outside.

knock.knock.

i need and want to be on the tender side. inside.

it has..whatmore..

it hasnt been easy for me.
it just keeps coming back to me.
whatmore with the things you say
and the people we see.

it has been tough on me.
it's just the fate that keeps pulling us apart.
whatmore with the things I have to do
and the people you have to see.

it has been very difficult for me.
it's just destiny that makes you north and me south.
whatmore with the way you are
and the people who are not us.

i love you so dearly.

diamond pieces

Just the sight of those precious diamonds
caught me in awe, overwhelmed.
The sight of the diamonds breaking
like a dagger through my heart.
The sight of those diamond pieces
makes me feel helpless.

It seems like I couldn't save them
It seems like I couldn't break their fall
It seems like I couldn't catch them.

Those diamonds were swept away.
The picture of the crash etched in my mind.
But at least I know I'm in the vault.
I'm trusted.
We're safe.

love = charcoal?

love is like charcoal...

once fire is lit, it will continue burning..
however, too big a fire is not good either..
just a small one is the best, as long as it's everlasting...
sometimes when wind temporarily stop blowing..
it seems like the charcoal is no longer burning..
but then.. look again.. the charcoal remains red hot...
you simply need to fan or have the wind blow again..
ultimately, when you're done with love...
it is hard to put out the fire...
you can pour buckets of water over charcoal..
but, it will remain hot and refuse to cool down..
it takes time..

so, love is like charcoal... =.)

busy month

oh no!!! i just got my schedule for my attachment.. it's gonna be one hell of a month.. finishing late most days.. dah macam cikgu betul pulak.. and every monday nite i got dance pract.. and tuition on weekends and one weekday (although weekdays might not be possible anymore for this month) gosh.. im gonna miss my baby. but i think its ok.. at least ayang oso got school till 4pm everyday except tuesday.. it's gonna be trying but worth it in the end. he'll be there to meet me everytime im free :) ohh.. im so lucky. hehe..

so speaking of attachments.. i need shoes and suitable clothes! but i cant afford to shop for an attachment im not paid for lah.. darn.. so how? i dunno. haiz.. 18 days...

oh well.. dunia dunia..

FULL - FILLING!

we went to sakura international buffet last month.. i think 25th may.. it was a very fulfilling experience.. haha very full.. and very filling..



then we went again today.. just being spontaneous.. haha.. but we didnt eat as much as we did the first time.. and no kamal.. we dun mind eating unhealthy coz we are happy people.. and to fairuz.. it doesnt matter if we got fat coz we have something called true love.. haha..

i love eating with you sayang. well i love doing everything with you. :)

aye! aye! captain.

hey captain,

let someone else be captain.
let your crews be spontaneous.
let your ammunition be stored.
let your cannon take a long awaited break.

(wait, no) lets,

let go of the steering wheel.
let the vessel go wild.
let the wind navigate.
let the waves bring you somewhere new.
let the fear of getting lost be a source of new adventure.
let what comes may.

let the storm threaten life.
let big waves shake our ship.
let pirates come and invade.
let us not worry how our men will fight.
let us just fight it all, when it happen.

hey captain,

lets trust our fate.
lets be dangerous.
lets ignore the X on that map.
lets follow the broken compass.
lets get to where that leads.

well, aye aye captain.
but ..
the world is round.
this sea is bigger than the world.

belayar bernakhoda,
berjalan dengan yang tahu,
berkata dengan yang pandai.
tapi kalau gitu setakat selamat ajelah.

merindui

merindukan pancaran yang mendakapi
merindukan rama-rama yang mendampingi
merindukan bulan disisi

ku mencintai mu.

rainy morning thoughts

it has been raining alot, especially yesterday. got drenched to and from ecp. but worth it when it's for a good cause and with the right people.

well rainy cold mornings make me think more about certain things. especially the mushy lovey dovey stuffs, but i shall try spare some people from those. =.)

i was thinking...
i don't think blogging about the person or people you love a lot makes your blog unintellectual. coz u can actually write about them in a very "chim" way and u will still sound intellectual. in fact.. it will just enhance ur sweetness and many other qualities aside from your intellect.

then i was thinking..
why is i t i havent been having intellectual conversations? here, ppl might refer to these conversation topics as current affairs. maybe, there isnt much to talk about or even blog about? and i think we cant just simply force ourselves to talk about them just to be "intellectual". but i have to admit that i havent been reading the papers regularly like i used to. maybe its because im caught up with other things like events, planning for Ilsa, and mostly.. dates. =.) but that shall not be an excuse. so i am gonna tell myself to read the newspaper more often!

after all those thinking..
it has occurred to me that there has been much political talks amongst the students now. "political" because it is the time of the year where handovers are taking place everywhere in school. what surprises me is how some people try bring others down. i have been observing and hearing those stuffs (not just talking about any particular organisation but more than one). and it happens even between friends. sort of backstabbing rite? i cant stand it. i think doing that just make one appears less of a person to the seniors who are deciding. maybe they are not subtle enough. but maybe they shouldnt even try do that. one should just try proof your worth instead of trying to proof another person's negative traits. maybe they really want positions real bad or maybe they just dont want certain ppl there. hmm.. but oh well... that's life. i didnt think it was like that during my time. rite? i hope.. well.. no offense to anyone but it's just a point i had to talk about. but it's all good. it makes the world more colourful and competitive.

and then.. this is the part where some people shud stop reading..=)
time and again i just realise how much i am happy with faizal. how much he loves me. how much i love him. and it has only been a very short period. maybe everything is wonderful now, u say. but it hasnt been all wonderful. we did go through tough times but we pulled through. here tough times are not just simply arguing. but hey, if it doesnt break you it makes you stronger. i believe. i love the way we go through things in our relationship. how honest we are to each other. and all that. what makes it even more happening for me is how our friends who mattered are happy for us. and we can be ourselves around this group of ppl.

i think when it comes to love, one shouldnt judge about the timing or the person or the circumstances. coz love comes unexpectedly. thus, you shouldnt close your doors. sometimes the person you say you wouldnt be together with is THE one for you. sometimes you dont realise how much you love a person if you choose not to see. i knew i waited too long coz i failed to follow my heart. and the consequences of it only we know. therefore, dont judge people who are finding love now. dont judge how fast or how slow they are going. dont judge the person they choose. dont judge how they are going about getting love. but just be happy for them if they have found love again. =)

i am happy i have found love again.
love you sayang. =.)

maly's 21st

well it was maly's and kamie's joint bday party on 16th june. it was a bbq.. and not the party of the year.. but fun!! more of a gathering.. should have games and stuff lagi fun..




newae me n ayang got drenched coz it was raining and we cudnt wait any longer coz we tot we were late.. so we braved the rain and met the jk and nidzam who made us wear silly crowns along east coast.. so then they brought a secret recipe cake.. and balloons and flowers and presents.. the bday girls were surprised!



k then after the official cake-cutting.. we had food and bbq.. done by the guys.. (sempat pulak si dia tu score points).. then as it got darker more ppl came.. and it got boring coz they had meetings! grr.. then after a while some of us just played bridge and sit around.. and eat some more.. kamie had to leave earlier so i didnt get a pic with her. at least not using my cam.. sorrie kamie. oh and then we opened presents.. maly was grinning looking at my present!! then suddenly........



it started raining.. AGAIN.. so we ran to the chalet and hung out a while longer.. haha.. started playing silly games like trying to count 1 to 20 as a group without clashing with each other.. then tried teaching maly bridge! haha.. and talked and talked.. after that ayang did some planning.. and kamal being kamal.. was thinking about dk.. then after the rain got lighter and nidzam and kamal's ride came.. kiter pun balik..


here's wat happen after that... eh-em..


......

........

.........

no maly not about u.. hahaha..

me and ayang went to our bike already.. our helmets soaked and the seats wet.. but since we havent dried from earlier we didnt mind lah.. but then.. dah sampai bike.. mentel pulak kiter.. nak gi toilet.. haha.. so we rode back to the lobby of the chalet.. haha.. went to toilet first pasal tak nak gi chalet maly since the whole family is there.. then we went home.. riding thru the drizzle.. hehe..




oh here's when the drawing was first done maly.. without the words yet.. oh and of course the image that we follow.. we had to experiment how it looks like.. to make it look real.. haha..

Faizal Rawi

how is it you never fail to sweep me off my feet?

hatiku sentiasa berdegup pantas memikirkanmu
yang tidak pernah gagal hadir ketika ku perlu
kadangkala terasa lemah jasadku pabila merenung matamu
yang berkata seribu satu kata-kata manis
jiwaku bergelora melihat senyumanmu
yang melontarkan seribu satu perasaan indah

how is it that the many pictures of me loving you loving me is never enough?

mungkin perasaan ini tidak dapat kutuliskan.
tidak dapat kugambarkan.
hanya kita berdua sahaja dapat memahami perasaan ini
yang tidak perlu dan tidak dapat dipaparkan hitam-putih

how is it we have always felt home ever since we know each other?

keikhlasan. kejujuran.
dua hati dua jiwa yang telah lama memanggil,
melaungkan nama cinta sejati
menantikan masa ia dapat berputik
tiada lagi rasa kaku atau segan.
bulan dan rama-rama telah bertemu di langit teratas.

that murmuring in your heart is telling you that it is my heart you have.
that crazed feeling we have shall not have to be named.

ku dapat harungi segala cabaran dunia yang dilontarkan padaku denganmu di sisiku.

you make me feel safe.
your presence engulf me
in a way nothing and noone can hurt me
you shun away all the negative vibes
and made me the girl you love.
it was all you sayang.

how is it i hate being without you but i could still be strong alone?

dan tidak dapat kunafikan lagi.
gambaran yang dilakar olehmu juga terlukis di hatiku.
"berjalan berduaan, berdampingan, berkompang dibawah kolong blok bersamamu dikalangan makcik pakcik yang sungguh-aku-tak-kenal sambil mereka makan nasi minyak."

you took fear away from me.
you taught me to be the wonderful person i am now.
you brought out the best in me.

it doesnt matter what love meant to you back then.
it doesnt matter what others meant to you back then.
coz i don't think you know the meaning of love the way you do now.
coz i don't think i know the meaning of love the way i do now.
and so this is OUR love. OUR true love.

itulah ia...
'perasaan tak bernama yang tidak pernah kurasa dengan sesiapa'

with that..
i LOVE you, Faizal Rawi.

=.) ku paham. you understand?

very brave indeed

i did sumtin very brave today.

well.. for those who have been reading my blog for quite sumtime.. i think in one of the posts i talked about how love does not only happen once. well here's a chapter two or some sort.


well.. noeing that love dun only happen once, the next time it happens.. it will inflict a bit more pain. mainly bcos then.. u have an old love as the past. thus, having an old love might affect ur current love. well not that it will make the person love u less or upset u had a past coz if that happens then mebbe that person just doesnt love u at all.. but i think the other will feel the pain when she/he reads or hears about ur past, especially when it's so vivid that it's as if he/she were there to see those exchanges happening. no.. if u love someone so much u wudnt think of whether or not he loves u now.. coz u shud noe that..

it's just that u wud think of how it wud be better if u were there earlier before the ex. so that u cud save ur loved one the pain of having to go thru that. then.. u wud also wonder why it took so long for him to realise that it wasnt working. 2 yrs? and then it's worst when u were actually there at about 1.5 yrs to observe the breakdown but it was not the end.. and then u realise that he had been goin thru that for way longer than u noe.. then u think of whether wat u have now is different.. and that he feels it's different.. or whether he is the most happiest. or THIS is it.. or whether... i dunno just so many things.

then again.. sometimes u cant help but to picture ur love with others.. and it just hurts so much. coz u know he wasnt really happy coz he is soooo happy now. then u think of how unfair it is for him to go thru that.. and why is it u didnt meet him when u were 5 instead? but mebbe if things happened differently then things mite not be as wonderful as it is now.. so we shan't think abt wat ifs.. and dun regret.. just recognise.. and have faith in ur love now. love with the fullness of ur heart..

then u just wanna hear that indeed u are different from every other.. and that this feeling he has is different from every other.. and that when he reads those again he thinks that it wasnt love.. and THIS is love. and just everything to tell u that THIS is right for him and just how much he loves u. but then when u have read or heard those things.. u wud want something more than wat he had given in the past to the others coz that cudnt be THE love for him.. and if THIS is THE love.. then there shud be more..



well actually.. i was reading old entries.. cried but i went on.. its just sumtin i had to do.



i noe u love me more than ever. i do too.. =) dun worry im ok. i noe wat u feel or felt.. we both wish all those things didnt happen and i think that's good enuff to noe.. although it cudnt happen..

i noe we will have more sweet, romantic, wonderful times..

i love u sayang.

at this age

at this age..

guilt trips dun work
threats has no effect
beatings will make it worst

at this age..

they tend to lose control
they no longer support u
they have no say

at this age...

their care no longer obvious
their words mean less
their nags angers you.

at this age..

i just wanna be left alone.

go simple

well i decided to go simple. so yah. it is common but well.. nice on the eyes.

hearts you.

same things different time

so we went to that same place.
same crowd.
same few songs.
same many stars.
same sudden cold breeze.
same wet ground.
same butterflies in my tummy.
same look in our eyes.
and that same magical feeling.

it was simply beautiful. it was as if we transported through time to get there and relive that very moment. just different clothes and different us. we were you and me back then. :)

well, i love yesterday coz it just reminded me of how much we wanted this. how much we went thru to get this. and how happy, elated we are now. it reminded me of all those harsh times we had to face and all the initial stages of negativity we had to overcome. i remembered exactly how i felt that day and the feeling i had yesterday was millions and millions times better. i have no regrets at all. that day answered all our doubts which built up through many months. that day determined our destiny today.

just standing there with aching feet (due to the heels n tons of walking and standing) looking at you, fills me up with warmth and gratitude. and the many gushes of love is simply nice. that look in ur eyes. that smile. i could just see everything you felt through them.

thank you so much for going through all this with me. thank you for being most happiest. thank you for loving like u never loved before. thank you for being mine.

if u believe in sumtin, it will happen.
never regret loving. never fear failing in love.
it's all good.

i love you.

syukur alhamdulillah.

we went thru the journey of how we got here. it was tough. but worth it. =)

i love you.

family day @ zoo

it was 3rd June.. We reached the zoo for the ICA family day. ayang was so excited. then skali kena sabo.. they made him a tribal bride. her name is Duga. haha.. there's actually a video.. but got rating so cannot post here.. haha.. so kiut lah u. =.) then ayang played some more games. he was so supportive lah..



After all those heat and lethargy at the family day area.. we went around the whole zoo!! we first went to see my favourtite white tigers. the tiger at the background was just pacing back and forth at the edge and it was as if it was eyeing the humans! haha.. then we went to see the underwater ballerina of west africa.. kiut kan? haha hensem lak tu..



then we took random pictures.. which one of the four in the first pic is faizal?? haha..







some more random pictures..





can anyone spot reeza in the picture??? for this i think u need to enlarge the pic to see.. hint at the bottom of the page.. haha..






then after the tiring day and all.. we went home.. changed.. and went for dinner.. BLACK PEPPER CRAB!!! it was expensive lar.. haha.. should have gone to a seafood restaurants like bestari or sumtin instead.. but it was worth it.. since we were starving the whole day..


i love you sayang.



hint: on the extreme left next to a rock.

bahagia

diriku ini sedang lemah. lelah. mata belum cukup dipejam. jasad belum cukup berehat. keringat banyak diperah. namun... hati tetap tenang. hati tetap riang. sesuatu telah berlaku pada hatiku. mungkinkah itu cinta?

sejak kebelakangan ini hatiku tidak dapat disakiti. semangatku tidak dapat digoyah. dia seakan memberiku satu daya yang seolah-olah tidak akan lenyap. dia seakan sentiasa mendorongku sehinggakan kadangkala aku lupa erti penat atau sukar. hidupku berubah. aku lebih bahagia. aku telah lakukan pelbagai perkara yang selama ini aku enggan lakukan kerana kurang keyakinan. dan juga.. aku dapat melakukan pelbagai perkara yang baru. segalanya dapatku capai. namun.. kakiku sentiasa dijejakkan ke bumi. ada seketika aku teringat akan kedaifan diriku ini kerana dia sentiasa mengingatkan secara langsung atau tidak.
dia bukanlah sempurna tetapi cukup bagiku. lelaki yang terima kelemahan dirinya dan meminta maaf walaupun kadangkala lewat.. banyak rintangan yang telah dilalui dan masih diharungi. tapi aku yakin kita 'kan mencapai melampaui bintang di langit. cinta yang semakin dalam ini sungguh indah. kita masih tabah.

tiada rahsia lagi.

kerinduan padamu sentiasa di hatiku. mungkinkah kau rasakan yang sama?

i bahagia. u bahagia tak?

love is a beautiful thing.

sometimes it doesnt have to be so hard.
sometimes things are just surface deep.
you dun always need to fight it.

sometimes she just wants u there.
sometimes she just needs u to know.
you dun always have to argue.

sometimes there's only the need to agree.
sometimes there's only the need to listen.
you dun always have to problematise.

most of the time u need to understand.
most of the time u need to accept.
you just need to love and trust.

understand that she loves.
accept that she's there.
know that she trusts.
be reassured that she's trying to understand and accept.
have faith. dun doubt. you know her better.

calm down, love is a beautiful thing.
it might poke u a bit but it's all worth it.
u cant be securely truly in love unless u believe so.
work on it. dun shut the other out.
let them in.

i love you sayang. i noe.

the results

yay!! *dancearound* i am consistently improving i guess.. i am happy. although some modules are one grade lower than i expected but well i did improve.. so yay!! thanks to the good influences and ayang for saving me from falling at the most critical moment.. and pat on the back for me for choosing to be as less distracted as i could.

alhamdulillah. amin.

i love you.

suatu hari (anak-anak seni)

Suatu hari, di Choa Chu Kang Loop, Faizal dan Reeza sedang duduk bersembang membuang masa. Tiba-tiba, mereka rasa pelik. Dunia seolah-olah berputar. Tanpa disedari, mereka berdua perasan bahawa mereka ada telinga hijau yang tumbuh di kepala. Mereka pun memanggil kawan-kawan untuk menyiasat.


"Apa masalahnya?" Wany bertanya. "Saya tidak nampak apa-apa kelainan pun...," katanya lagi.


"Alamak, kau ni Wany, tak nampak ke telinga yang menghijau tu? Ish, ish, ish," teriak Husni yang hensem nak mampos.


Lin menoleh ke arah Husni. Kerana dia sungguh baik hati, dia tidak sampai hati memberitahu Husni bahawa mukanya macam kucing kurap. Tetapi, Lin redha. Dia tahu bahawa jika Husni sabar seperti Lin, dia boleh jadi lawar gila (mcm Lin). Untuk menjadi lawar giler mcm Lin, awak harus bersenam setiap Lin, awak harus bersenam setiap pagi dan berdoa kepada Allah swt agar memperelokkan lagi rupanya.


Meeting seterusnya di Pontian, Johor tapi Husni tak boleh pergi sebab dia Mat Kental-istiwa (orang tu passport mati), padan muka. Husni juga tak tahu malu sebab dia cam-whore.
Ibnur pun datang masuk campur. Ibnur ketawa lalu berkata kepada Husni, Lin, Fatimah dan Liza. "Kenapa you all ada telinga hijau juga?!!"


Tiba-tiba 'fairy Maly' muncul di hadapan mereka semua. Dia menghayunkan tongkat saktinya lalu berkata..."Hari ini adalah Hari Telinga Hijau! Sesiapa yang mempunyai telinga Hijau akan dipelihara oleh 'fairy Maly'.


Lalu tertimbulnya katak yang digulai dalam tempurung berteriak kepada 'Fairy Maly'." You are my saviour!" Namun, apabila terlihatnya siapa sebenarnya 'Fairy Maly', terkucilnya katak bertelinga hijau lalu dibakar hidup-hidup atas panggang yang terbakar. Di sebalik itu, datangnya Zahdan, hensem namun kental, sesat terlepas di tempat yang aneh ini. (Al-Kisah. 22-31 Fairus)


Zahdan selamatkan katak itu daripada terus dibakar. Lalu dikebumikan katak itu dengan sempurna. Aliff pun berkata, "Baik hati eh ko, Zahdan."
"Aku kan lembut orangnya... tak sampai hati aku binatang diperlakukan sedemikian." Tiba-tiba....


"Tidak!!!!!!" Semua yang hadir terperanjat lalu menoleh ke arah suara yang memecahkan keheningan malam.
"Katak aku! Kenapa boleh jadi begini? Penat-penat aku tangkap. Macam mana boleh hangus? Tidak oh tidak tidak tidak," jerit Kamal kental yang tetiba muncul ibarat keluang man.
"Siapa yang bertanggungjawab? Kau Zahdan?" Kamal mula menggertak. Sebaik sahaja Kamal melangkah setapak, Zahdan pun pengsan. "Siapa???" Tiba-tiba...


Sebuah tikus mondok yang besar lagi dahsyat sungguh menggerikan meloncat keluar dari semak samun di tepi longkang sebenar kandang kerbau di tepi jalan dan menerkam ke arah katak hijau yang buntal itu!
"Oi!" jerit katak buntal itu. "Kau nak makan aku kenapa?" Aku kan Faizal... Aku tahulah aku ada telinga hijau, ini semua gara-gara Fareeza ah! Dia gigit aku, terus jadi katak... *&^^$^ punye tikus!" Maka....


Terakhirnya kisah maka telah ketahuinya watak-watak yang berbahaya serta malang makan innahillah.


Dan dalam segala ceritera termaktub azimat purbawara merdeka. Demi cinta, demi negara, demi kesempurnaan (Kamal) demi kemajuan bangsa tercinta. Alhamdulillah dan terima kasih kepada semua.


-tamat-

If anyone's wondering wat all that was about.. well.. it was actually the outcome of the story written by the ppl who came for Faizal & Reeza's happening-gedegak bbq.. the merepek parts are mostly by Fairuz. haha..entah apa "dibakar atas panggang yang terbakar"? anyway it is not editted minus the censorship of one word. Well, me and faizal wud like to thank everyone who turned up and made it happening. for those who didnt.. ur loss.. i hope everyone did enjoy themselves and got the opportunity to relax (even though some ppl talked business) i also hope ppl had enuff to eat.. and that u noe new ppl or get updated about friends u hadnt met for a long time.. thanks again.. to Zahdan.. do watch deal or no deal k? hehehe.. thank u sooooo much.. it was very nice. for pictures.. pls visit my darling's blog soon.. he'll upload the pictures as soon as he gets rid of his penyakit Malas k? hehe kidding.. he'll do it soon.. =) yay!!

ps: spelling errors and all.. are not editted.

i am sooo in lurveeeeee.

hi everybody!
i just want to post this coz i need to get this off my chest..... *grinz*
*smilez* *rolls*
i just want to shout out that....that.......that..............that I LURVE FAIZAL RAWI!!!!

hes smart, charming, cute nak mampus, hensem tak seberapa tapi dier punye dimples bila dia senyum.....uuuuummmmmpphhhhhh! boleh PENGSAN u! he makes me laugh like a hyena all the time *hick hick hickk* and OH MY GODDD...have you seen his cute hot as*?????????!!!

*faints*

..
...
....
.....

*wakes up*
*sigh*
sometimes i wonder how i get so lucky...
to be with someone who understands me and layans ALL my nonsense like when i action cute, ask for so much attention and when i always eksyen merajuk.
*sigh*
im such a lucky girl. plus he takes me around on his manly bike all over singapore and we have such a romantic time together coz he is SO ROMANTIC!!!!! tak leh ARNGKARTS you! we do stuff so spontaneously. *GOSH* *blushes* *sighs* he always sweeps me off my feet. :)

i (s)lurp you ayang!

ps: this shiok sendiri entry (which is mostly true although it doesnt sound like me) is written by si dia tu. *hehe*

happy happy happy

i fell asleep.
i woke up.
my heart aches for you.
i miss you.
i love this feeling.
i hate this feeling too.
but i love you...so much.

things did go rather fast. we dun deny it. but we're happy. very happy. like i always say. sometimes love comes to you when you least expect it. so for those of you who have fallen out of love and think u shouldnt love anymore... slap yourself shake your head and smile. hehe.. ok dun slap yourself. just pull yourself together. do something crazy coz love doesnt wait for you all the time. just as you shouldnt wait for love. i used to be one of those who thought i could never love again after the last one. but hell.. i was wrong. i am in love. there are things wrong in the relationship. but somehow we made it right. i think coz we are honest to each other about it and we're BOTH trying hard to adapt to each other's ways and make things right. but i am very sure that we r both loving with the fullest of our hearts. i am just not afraid. it's a good feeling.

anyway my laptop's down.. which sucks. something's wrong with the dvd drive that affects the power of the laptop or sumtin like that. shall send it for service on monday or asap. and i am home early on a saturday. i fell asleep reading a book. then i woke up it was only 8+ and i miss him so much. grr.. but im seeing him tmr.. yay! but i think it's for awhile je.. oh well.. absence is good sumtimes..

oh yah.. congrats adik .. SP takraw team is champion at NUS Sepak Takraw Team Championship!!! weehoo...

rama-rama terbang bebas.
bunga kembang harum.
bulan mengambang terang.
semuanya indah dan sempurna buat kita.
namun kaki masih menjejak bumi.

i am very happy. be happy for me.

i am at a stage where everything seems to be fine for me.
ok not everything. minus the fact i'm broke every other things are going great for me.
i didn't get here easily.

i got here after going through so much pain (physically, mentally and emotionally).
i got here after facing a lot of challenges.
i got here after making a lot of tough decisions.
i got here after i decided that i should take the risk.
i got here after i question myself, my life and my relationships with people.
i got here after i understand about myself, my life and my relationship.
i got here especially because i realise i was not happy and fulfilled.
i got here because i chose to be here.
i got here because i think it's time i get here for myself.

i noe i have hurt people along the way. i am sorry that people got hurt. but i dun regret being where i am now. i've learned what i needed to learn and i just have to keep moving forward. i was the kind that wanted to be selfless and be happy just coz the people around me were happy. and just kept compromising my own happiness. well.. newsflash.. sometimes u have to be happy urself too.. i noe that it may appear that u r happy coz u make someone happy.. i feel that.. i loved that feeling.. but now i noe what being happy really feels like.. i mean being happy because u made URself happy.. u noe? i guess there's always a need to be a lil selfish. just a lil.

and then now i'm here.

i am where my choices matter.
i am where i am heard.
i am where i am treasured.
i am where my compromise is reciprocated.
i am where negotiation is done rationally.
i am where someone understands and try to understand more.
i am where someone's there to adapt to me just like i adapt to him.
i am where someone's patient enough to listen and explain things to me.
i am where i am loved.

i shouldn't look back. i had a past. i've learned from it. i acknowledge it. i appreciate it. i'll remember it. but i wun regret it.

i just love where i am right now. i feel free. i am not pretending anymore. i'm confident of myself. i just feel light. (literally also since i lost weight hehe..)

i love you sayang. thank you... for being with me throughout the toughest phase of my journey here. and now for being here to go through another journey. =.)

cinta indah & cabar

sekiranya segalanya indah
itu bukan cinta
sekiranya segalanya mudah
itu bukan cinta
sekiranya segalanya mencabar
mungkin itu cinta
sekiranya segalanya sukar
mungkin itu cinta

namun sekiranya hanya ingin yang indah

jangan bercinta

namun sekiranya hanya ingin yang mudah

jangan bercinta

tapi sekiranya terima cabaran

cintalah sepenuh hati

tapi sekiranya menghadapi kesukaran

cintalah sepenuh jiwa

siapa yang kata cinta itu mudah dan indah sahaja?
siapa yang kata cinta tidak ada cabaran dan kesukaran?
cabaran dan kesukaran membawa kemudahan dan keindahan kelak.
semakin mencabar semakin sukar
kian mudah dan kian indah
cinta.

cinta sejati membenarkan cabaran menjadi indah

cinta sejati membuat kesukaran menjadi mudah

tapi cinta sejati juga perlu pengorbanan, kesabaran.

cinta sejati cinta sepenuhnya.

jangan pernah takut bercinta.
jangan pernah kecewa ketika gagalnya cinta.
bukalah hati. bukalah jiwa.
tapi bukalah mata dan bukalah telinga.

kegagalan tidak semestinya ketiadaan.

cinta sentiasa ada usaha yang kurang.

sabar menanti sabar mencari.

kadang tiada dicari cinta menanti.

cinta tidak datang hanya sekali
kita dibenarkan gagal.
kita dibenarkan membuat kesilapan.
tapi jangan mengesali.
cinta tidak datang hanya sekali.

Meet MiniMat!

we adopted our MiniMat!





this was us at Vivocity punyer rooftop tu.. macam budak-budak.. we opened right after we bought it.. haha.. exciting.. oh yah ayang had the whistle sweet in his mouth if u wondering wat that was.. i insisted on buying that because i cant whistle.. haha..




MiniMat even had its first accident! thanks to ayang.. haha.. a lot of ppl were looking and staring at us .. but i bet they were just jealous.. muahahahaha.. i think we did hit a few "pedestrians" haha..



well.. it's actually very fun.. we played at the multi-storey carpark after that.. turun naik ramp some more..



i think ayang has become more childish... thanks to yours truly.. haha.. but i like it.. i mean children are happy people most of the time.. =) that's why im always happy.. coz im always young at heart.. =.) now we are happy together.. hehe

voting for adik

adik was great.. minus the extremely exaggerated negative comment by one judge.. tak sangka adik aku ni cool jugak... improving alot.. haha.. and apparently many girls think he's handsome, hot, cute and all those. hehe..

here's the format for voting:

UNDI (space) M4

Then send to 73388.

Do vote and ask all ur friends, family, neighbours, colleagues, sister's friends, brother's friends, friends' cuzins dan yang sewaktu dengannya untuk vote k? terima kasih byk byk skali lagi...

undilah

to all my friends and family. do watch anugerah tonight at 8.30pm on suria and vote for Elhazeeq Ul Haq. Code: M4. Thank you so much. Every vote is greatly appreciated by me, my family and Elhazeeq.

psst. there's never enough vote. if you guys dun watch pun check out this site later tonite or tomorrow morning to find out how to vote coz it will be a whole week of voting. :) K? thank you soooo.. much.

GOOD LUCK ADIK!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!

whole day effort for the boy

So we were at anugerah on labour day to catch adik.. stylo kan? designed by him and her for each other.

Here's the star looking lethargic. cian dia.. i love u adik.. well done.. i think my brother is hot amongst his friends..

well since adik got thru to top 24 .. me and sayang have been working hard to promote and support adik..

Maceh sayang for all the help.. (nampak macam tiup belon haha)

and yeah im blogging about my sayang too.. haha.. rite this moment no one can pull me to any lower bottom. i'm happy. be happy for me.

psst. i bet my rating's going up.

after exam party

hey guess what.. exams over.. yeahooo... here's wat we did to celebrate (spontaneously)..



we bought 3 bottles of drinks (no plain water), salad, 2 croissant breads, a bunch of bananas, a big pack of cheesels, a can of chilli tuna.


Here's the first chef preparing tuna, croissan'wich. (vege washed with 7up)

Well then the gorgeous chef prepared the plain tuna croissan'wich (without vege)

Took the first bite coz she was starving.. and trying not to drip the oil on her clothes.

He took his first bite. err.. just overacting coz he wasnt starving as much.. haha.. but it was a nice meal.

After finishing our croissanwich.. our first chef came up with the salad wrap. yummy..

However, being the more creative one.. the gorgeous chef came up with her own creation of cheezy tuna. it's nice.. bitesize some more..

After the meal.. we took a walk on the beach..


Sat by the sea and just enjoy each other's presence and the beautiful scenery..(macam soalnya siapa)

Well we sat and eat cheesels some more actually.. Anyway.. we just talked and get to noe each other again.. and he sang beautifully. (so jiwang...)

Then as it gets dark..and stars emerged one by one.. reflecting the moonlight brightly.. we walked some more.. and stopped to carve our names on the sand..

Then we went for dessert.. yes at macs with bananas.. we had 4 bananas with one sundae.. perfect.. oh and we tried to trip some people with the banana peels.. haha.. and try to hide evidence from the mac employees..

well..ant bites. sandy feet. sticky skin. aching arms. but it was all worth it. it was a perfect day. a perfect nite. i heart you.

"kalau u toilet bowl. i toilet seat. so we can go through shit together."