kesyahduan terasa

sedangku mengatur langkah demi langkah di bumi sementara ini.. aku melihat..memantau dan memerhati.. setiap insan dan kehidupan di sekeliling ku.. aku menyedari kuasaNya.. dan terluah kata2 pujian bagiNya.. dalam kegelapan malam ini.. bintang tetap menyinari.. bulan mengambil alih suria.. menjadi mata dunia.. angin meniup sepoi-sepoi bahasa.. aku merasakan suatu ketenangan pada tubuhku..

aku melihat di sekelilingku setiap manusia mencetuskan sekuntum senyuman pada teman.. kanak2 keriangan dan pemuda pemudi menampakkan kebahagiaan.. aku rasa janggal kerana perasaan sedemikian telah sirna dari jiwaku.. aku rasa kehilangan berada di dunia ini tanpa senyuman.. setiap langkah seolah-olah membawa secebis rasa gembira.. setiap pandangan mengukir senyuman..

kemudian.. aku melalui sebuah masjid nan indah.. para jemaah sedang menjalankan kewajipan.. langkahku terhenti.. aku diri terpaku memandang.. kesyahduan terasa dalam naluriku.. ketenangan yang ganjil menusuk jiwaku.. dan dunia seakan berpulih kembali.. keperitan dan bebanan di bahuku terasa ringan.. aku tahu aku senantiasa disayangi.. aku beristighfar... mengambil nafas dan membuang segala kesakitan..

half done poem by me

I was there always,
Standing, watching thoughts astray,
What if.. What if one day
We could have gotten our way
But too bad you just chose to go away.

A chance,
Just one dance..
But..no..You just turn
And left my heart to burn
Should I let you go?
Or will I cry tomorrow?

Mirror..there was me
But is that who I really see?
This heart longs to be
Oh..no.. you took the key
And now.. it's locked up and noone shall noe thee.

this is half done.. i suddenly cant go on.. my head hurts.. ive been havin migraine.. haiz..

sewage system

ok like the very efficient and well constructed sewage system in singapore.. im drained.. (if it doesnt make sense..too bad)

prelims sucks..all exams suck for that matter.. i think im failing physics n econs.. well..im having econs paper in abt 30 mins time.. im in BYTEZ now.. im drained..my head hurts so i really cant squeeze in anymore info.. and well ive tried at least...

newae i am sure im gonna fail physics unless some miracle happen.. which i do need badly.. for goodness sakes its prelims and im talkin abt failing.. wat is happening to me? im losing myself.. im losing grip...ok enough abt physics

well maths was not so good either..something is definitely wrong with me.. and malay.. i think i was speaking like the scholars.. my sastera answers were horrible i think..but lets just hope for the best.. but i think not since brock lesner is like so strict nowadays for some reason.. aargh.. so i think im gonna do horribly..

ok dun blame urself too much reeza.. but still.. i was so distracted that i didnt give my 110% during revisions.. not even during exams itself.. i panicked like..aargh.. i dunno why im panicking so much DURING the exam itself.. and like.. 1 minute after "pens down" i can like get answers for all the things i dunno... i think i need yoga lessons.. anyway.... aargh.. let bygones be bygones.. i have to do freaking well for a levels.. i cant let ppl down.. really.. help me God...

and newae i think last nite was an interesting nite.. when suddenly things turn out rite.. he apologised and said he realised how harsh he has been.. at least now i have a friend back.. and i do mean FRIEND.. and then i spoke to alakazam.. hehe.. alakazam is so..nvm.. so..ya.. i need to rest.. im freezing and im havin sinus ... thanks to the rain.. and the super cold temperature of this room.. but i like rain anyways.. hehe.. imagine walkin in the rain in the middle of the park with.. ok nvm.. shall think abt econs now.. so i hope today will be fun again .. lepak tonite.. mebbe i shud..

anyways...newsflash!!! i got no sch from tmr till sunday n then tuesday off.. monday i onli have that stupid dress to impress workshop.. and..erm.. oh yah but wednesday sucks.. i finish at 12 but have to stay till 3 for some stupid physics pract demo make-up thingy.. i so hate the physics department.. naggy old tchers.. aargh.. okok.. breathe.. breathe.. and........smile.. :)