Randomness

Love.

It hurts.

The most beautiful pain ever.

Live your nows.

Happy studying Maly. May you get your focus, confidence and will.
I miss you too.

Happy birthday my dearest A'in. May you have successes and happiness.
I miss you babe.

Happy celebrating our love baby. May we achieve our hopes and dreams.
I miss you most.

Life is unfair. Full of dualities. It's funny like that.

an update

im back. not from a holiday but a long break from blogging. i actually had a lot of issues to talk about but i had lost interest in blogging about them for awhile. I also saw no reason to blog about my life in the same period. however, i got my interest back.

well an update of how I've been. one word - tired.

it has been a very trying time for me this past month. not just the exams and the mugging but i revisited my life so far and realised i'm so tired of studying. most of my friends are graduating this year. how i'm tempted to follow suit and start earning money..lotsa money. furthermore my muse won't be around in school next year. however, in the end i weighed all the pros and cons and of course extra few hundred $$ a month is worth my extra year in school. :)

ok then it was the mugging and stress that as usual got me sick to the point of me not wanting to think and just pray hard i could use logic to answer the questions.

also, i faced the most challenge this year due to the lost of my aunt 3 days before my exams. it's the first time ever that i experience lost in my family.. at least those close ones. I did not cry a lot coz she was experiencing a lot of illnesses and so, i could accept reality. however, it did affect me mentally and physically.

i started thinking of how i couldnt live without a few people in my life and how i would survive if anything happens to my loved ones. although i could convince myself that im strong i still failed to control my tears just thinking bout it.

imagine waking up one day not being able to see that smile, touch that hand, smell that nice comforting smell, hear that soothing voice, laugh at his jokes, argue and shout at his stubbornness and ego, hug and hold the one that gives so much warmth... as it is now, just being away could kill your spirit.

well there's this one other thing that has been happening in my family which i shouldn't blog about. but it has taken a whole lot of toll on me. now i'm just enjoying every moment with my baby... falling in love all over again everytime i see him. :)

i know my entry isnt congruent but i'm still in recovery so bear with me.

God pls give me strength.

the littlest things matter

littlest cringe
tiniest frown
miniscule sigh
slightest roll of the eye
littlest touch
tiniest sparkle of the eye
miniscule gratitude
slightest smile

it's just with you for you.
as time goes by...
it becomes invisible..
you become invisible..

so what now?
so what?

read me

sometimes silence says the loudest
blank paints the clearest
pretense manifests the most
and you just wish your heart is heard
your mind is transparent
your intentions are transpicuous

but then SMACK!
you're only human...
in this realm such things are not begotten.

change

so there is a need for change in the world.

but let's not be too ambitious. let's start change from YOU.