knowing wat the twitching was abt

if u think my last entry was intense.. it would have been worst if i blogged when i got home after that last nite.. oh well.. i am still pissed.. a few ppl would noe why.. i think it was the cause or my twitching eye which lasted for 3 days especially during practices.. but i dun think i should air laundry publicly.. im still frustrated bout it grrr.

anyway i cooled down after talking to a very nice person about it..and yeah i think i handled the situation well... at least i kept my cool and not hurt anyone.. although i really wanted to.. thanks! dats wat frenz are for.. haha.. hey but im nice to my frenz.. i love my frenz..

i would like to make a public apology to the yr 2 ilsaians (incl. ain) n faiz (u yr 1 mah).. im sorry i walked off without waiting.. but it was the better of two evils.. so ya.. i had to be alone.. i was too overwhelmed with anger and other emotions.. but i love you girls.. n err.. faiz.. haha.. especially to fairie ain n faiz who had to experience winter near me (cold attitude mah)...

perseverance...patience...

irritated

it is damn frustating to be around ppl who just cant stop complaining n do work instead whatmore those who dont even wanna do any. no offence to anybody.. but seriously.. if u noe ppl just cant do it then maybe u shud do sumtin about it.. at least when this concerns a group. i have been rather passive about things.. but it is damn f-up that so many things have been said but nuttin's done.

i mean every organisation has its faults.. and once.. or twice in your life u might see leaders who are not dat capable.. but they do complete things just not everything.. and the not everything happens to matter more..you just have to live with it.. and try ur best to make em see what irritants they are.. but im tired of listening to ppl saying "you guys should...." when in fact it is a group effort that matters.. so f-up. if you know what should be done and it is not done at a critical moment go ahead and do it.. i am not happy either but i am doin everything to try ensure our aims are met.. there's no point in complaining anymore.. if everyone complains bout what other ppl should do.. the job would not be completed ever!! and i am also tired of ppl

plus.. when you are in a group.. altho there may be differences or even though u guys may come from diff sch or sumtin.. u guys have to work in a group and feel like wat has to be done is your own responsibility also.. at least this group does not treat members as guest.. but rather colleagues.. so every single member shouldnt be complaining wat the group has not done coz it is your group!! and for those who dont even keep up with wat's happening.. you guys should just f-king leave lah..

so stop pushing your responsibilities to ppl.. stop thinking you have power in a group who gives no shit about power and stop complaining ... just do work

miss him. miss her. miss you. miss me.

ok im tired.. super duper tired.. but at least losing weight.. hehe.. oh well.. newaes.. i miss him.. i miss friends.. i miss lotsa ppl.. n im sad.. coz i got no time for most things..most things n ppl have no time for me either.. the world is an unfair.. n like i always say.. sumtimes u need to be sad to make others happy.. but i do believe in karma.. so someday all my sadness might just be worthwile..

oh well but i think it's the season for ppl to get together.. im happy for happy ppl.. n im happy to see ppl in matrimony.. ok with inverted comas.. not kahwin lah.. just together.. i mean i am happy when my friends n loved ones are happy.. even if im not .. with myself.. somehow ppl assume i am.. n therefore i have to be.. but the whole point of having ppl around u is not to rub off ur negative vibes lah.. at least dats wat i believe in.. so ya.. i would just smile .. n laugh.. n smile some more.. so the world will be a happier place.... even if its a lie..

im not the explosive kind (accordin to md noor's blog) not quite implosive either.. i just dun like to get angry.. but sumtimes u have no control lah... dats why being childish at times helps.. u tend to be happier dat way.. i think dats y i love children.. coz they have no worries.. like i was in pri sch.. they r a happy lot.. n even if they r not happy it's over silly things.. ok this is based on the normal average family lah.. but u get wat i mean..

newae the coming weeks would be very very trying.. i cant afford days off.. and losing control.. or falling sick.. i need to stay strong till 2nd Sept is over... oh yes publicity...

NUS ILSA TARI will be having our production called AKULTURASI @ UCC, 7.30pm, 1st & 2nd Sept.. tickets @ $12. Get it soon.. tickets are selling fast.. especially the one on saturday..
breathe in.. count to 10.. breathe out

i hope therapy still continues..... but guess not

disastrous!

ok so i have sat for 3 papers since monday and 2 more to go. analysis time starts now!

Malay Culture & Society(Mon)
The paper was fine. It was an open book exam and i was very prepared. I spotted topics and went through past sems exams and happens that those were the questions that were given to us. Somehow or rather i still managed to screw it up. Thanks to my oh-so-marvellous essay writing skills. ok it was bcos my english sucked.. but it was because somehow i was like kanchiong spider after writing the first essay. So my 2nd and 3rd essay is definitely disastrous!!! i guess a C is what i should expect... unless i'm being over paranoid and actually everything was done fine... (NOT!!!)

Making Sense of Society(Wed)
Soci paper was cool. I mean i came prepared and it was ok i guess. I was more calm then i was on monday. I memorised the right definitions and studied the right topics. However i was unsatisfied with my second essay. I think i was too general... aargh... a B? haiz...

Genes and Society(today)
HORRIBLE!! what the heck were we supposed to learn from this stooopid module? were we supposed to gain scientific knowledge about genes and biotechnology as in the process... or were we supposed to learn history?? About 20% of the questions were about who discovered what and which company does what... wtf.. shouldnt they concentrate on asking about enzymes and dna and rna and all other SCIENCES questions?? all i need was a pass to get the S grade since i s/u-ed it... i studied alot for this stooopid paper.. ok mebbe lack focus and memory space on the plant GE part but still... i think im gonna U this one.. aargh...

So yah it has been a very demoralizing and disastrous week.. I'm tired.. I had diarrheoa this morning.. not enough sleep.. cant wait for this phase of the sem to end..

so my aim right now is to survive 3rd May.. 2 more papers to go.. South Asians in Singapore and Law & Malay society..Both of which i least recall.. Especially the latter... I think im gonna struggle albeit its open book... I mean these lecturers are deceiving.. open book just mean higher expectations and tougher questions.. haiz.. so ya... im taking the nite off from mugging and continue tmr after i collect my mid-term script.. darn..

no more

i dun feel like blogging no more.
just wanna have a fun easy life.
have fun in sch (study too),
no activities, no pain-in-the-a**,
just spend time with boo...
laze around.. eat chocs n not get fat...
(ok the last one makes it all impossible)
but altho' its been many yrs just cant get enough
boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo boo
aargh..newae realised that im filled with suppressed anger.. lotsa em'
dun push the button..

kebaaaabbommm!!!