alone.school.saturday.

Well just like the title says.. i am alone in school on a saturday. yes.. it's the first. Reeza-school-saturday-studying was never a good combination until lately. i think ive said this many times before.. school is my escapism.. rite now i have plenty on my mind.. and i have such a short time to figure everything out.. 2 essays and 1 project due on monday.. exams are like so near.. and im in a crisis.. i think that is bad.

anyway why am i not feeling... ok i feel too much that i just dunno (ka-ching!) wat i feel. time is running out. and it's disturbing. i dunno wat the outcome will be. i noe wat i want. but i just dunno wat i will decide. i dunno if i wanna be safe still.. or not.i fear so much.. i just need an answer badly.. and i am waiting for an answer. but so far it has been rather negative.

im afraid.
i dun wanna compromise anymore.
or maybe i still have that lil bit in me to push on? but why am i surviving now? but even this one week seems that im the only one in the game.. it seems like he has given up ...
or maybe he thinks i have..
or maybe it doesnt matter so much..
or maybe he assumes it will all be just a phase..
maybe it is just a phase..
or maybe... just maybe..
haiz..

true love .. is not to possess?
but i believe in fate and destiny.
i just need a clear sign.
if true love is not to possess then.. married people do not have true love?

give me strength.